Very uncreative, but... I don't feel in the mood to make it so. In fact, I want to die.
The dance, itself, was fun. The thing is, that I had this horrible feeling at the begging. That something bad was gonna happen. As always, I was right.
At this one point in the dance, I got depressed. I suddenly felt my lip trmble. I bit it to stop from crying. It worked and I had fun agaim. I could no longer make myself look happy at the end though, like suddenly everything I knew flew out of me.
The good news is, I got everything on my check list done tonight.
1. Help friend with troubles.
2. Get other friend dancing.
3.Hit Ben if avalible.
4. Flirt.
One was easy, I didn't do anything. Two, ditto. Three was the best. Four I had no succsess with. I danced enough though. I loved it. I'm glad Emily and Beth made me dance. I am.
The bad part of using this as a dairy, is that I cant vent about the things I need to vent. I cant talk to anyone about them. I wish I could suck it up, but, I'm a worthless load of shit and doing it.
I have a reason for it. I do.
I want to cry now. I've never wanted to more in my life. But, as usual, I cant.
If there is a God, he hates me.
5 comments:
i love you megan <3
you're such a great friend
please don't be sad.
You could use a real diary.. like a pen and paper one.
Or..........you could just not allow me access to your blog. That'd probably take care of the "not being able to vent" problem.
But please please please don't want to die.
if you ever want to talk about anything, ill be happy to listen!
thanks guys, I'm good today though. After listening about death all morning, I'm good.
the chocolate helped 2 =]
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