Happy Sounding to Terribly Mad

I spend my free time reading and writing usually. (I also talk to my friends, but this is about my hobbies, so, sorry.) I read to figure our what I'm doing wrong with my own writing and to figure out how to get a good reaction out of people. The writing, it comes naturally.
Most people's fist thought when they look at my writing (or the first comment they give to me anyway) is that my spelling is atroshish (haha, get it?), which is very true. I cannot spell right for the life of me and the more tired I am, the worse my spelling gets.
The next comment I get is: It was good, though I really have no clue what they mean when they say this. I don't know if they're lying or not. I don't know if they mean 'it was good. write more. I want to know how it ends' or 'it was good, but it could do with a little sprusing up' or a nice midum between the two. I find this terriblly annoying. As a writer I would enjoy to have critisum, because thats the only way I can improve. (And compliments are bad. Very, very bad.)
Now that I have that part of my life written, I don't have to again. Ever again.
Instead I'll write abouthow I feel, which, in comparison of yesterday, is pretty crappy. I have tried to write this bit about 40,000,000 times before getting to this point. I feel increaingly worried of my grades. (Whoo! Stress!) I have an 'F' right now in Science because of my vacation and I owe Mrs. Dobson $5 for a new small graduated cyliender because I broke one today.(smooth, huh?) I feel so stupid. It's like, I can't get any smarter and the important stuff just isn't sticking, but the fact the Walt Disney thought that if you went in a strait line, you got bored, so to make sure his theme park was always fun he made the roads curve, stays in my head forever. I don't even like Disney!
I also hate when I know somethings wrong with me and can't express it unless I write it down.(Or, techinically, in this case, type it down.) I cannot believe I can't express my... annoyence toward myslef, and sometimes even towards others. I'm a writer and I can't even properly comunicate what I want to say!
I also hate that I cant seem to ever cry at the right times. I cry when I'm frustrated, but I don't ever seem to cry when I'm sad. I ask myslef this qeustion a lot, but, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I SEEM TO CRY FOR SOMETHING IMPORTANT?! WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL?!
Ok, I'm sure you've heard enough from me today. Until next time.